The B-Gurlz
by skyehoppus
Summary: It's all in the fic *snicker*
1. Heero's got a girlfriend!

Title: The B-Gurlz Written: I'm Heero's alternate *grins widely* Pairings: I haven't decided yet. hmm. ::deep in thought:: Category: AU, during war Warnings: slight yaoi (probably), genie in a magic bottle (DON'T ASK!) Summary: The G-Boyz get magically transported into the past (1973) to find their alternates. uh. as biker chicks (dressed explicitly in pleather[1])? Ramblings: You will find this very. er. amusing *snicker* All the characters I own are based on my real life friends and/or enemies. some of their names are even the same. Disclaimer: *pouts* No I do not own the ever soooo kawaii[2] Gundam Pilots (or anyone else associated) but I do own their counterparts! *grins brightly* Author's Notes: ~*~*~*~= scene change ~-~-~-~= ripple in time 'Oi!'= thinking _Oi!_= technological devices I'll think of more later! ~*~*~*~ *bing bing* _You've got mail!_ The loathsomely cheerful voice announced. Heero Yuy rolled his computer chair impulsively over to the screen. 'Another mission?' he thought tiredly. Just then Duo strolled in, hands pocketed, whistling. Heero, usually extremely sensitive to any minute noise, took no notice. "Something wrong, Hee-chan?" "Hn." Heero said absentmindedly, eyes wide. His jaw dropped to the floor as he read on. "What is it?!" Duo was mildly concerned, "Mission?" Heero shook his head and motioned Duo over to the screen. "You're saying 'no', right?!" "Hn." "." Then a certain Arabian wandered into the room, and walked up behind the two to peer over their shoulders. "*cough*" "Hey, Q! Didn't see ya there." "You are saying 'no', yes?" Quatre shot at Heero, fully ignoring Duo for once. "Saying 'no' to what?" Wufei said, peeling an orange. "*snicker* Heero's got a girlfriend!" Duo taunted. "Nani?[3]" Heero gave Duo a deadly death glare. "She's not my girlfriend!" Quatre stifled a giggle as the pilot of Wing chased the pilot of Deathscythe madly about the room. ~-~-~-~  
  
"Hey, Rye," Cat (me!) greeted. "Oh, hi, didn't see you there." "Good." "Well, you're in a good mood." "Hn." "We have a mission." "Eh? Did you say mission?!" "Hai[4]!" "B-But. no." "Ca-chan is delusional," Chel said abruptly from behind, "and incapable," she added. *ring ring* "Oh, that's me," Chris said. _Mission_ "So I here, target?" _uh. er._ "Target?!" she repeated. _Well, you see._ "Yes, I do. Now spit it out!" _Alright._ "On with it, it's getting annoying just listening to you bicker over the phone, and that happens at least twice a day," Rye retorted smartly. "Stay out of it, Baker!" The Chinese woman snarled. _Well, there have been sightings._ "Like. UFO sightings?" _No, just sightings, hallucinations, things that aren't there and then they are_ Chris took in all the information, nodding as though she was talking to him in person and not over a purple cell phone. ~-~-~-~ 'Why can't Relena just leave me alone?' Heero's thoughts were disturbed by 'her' e-mail to go to some ball. 'I hate tuxes.' Heero finally fell asleep; he'd probably have some better ideas in the very near future. 'I'm worried.' Duo was upset, Heero's well being depended on Relena staying far away, and Duo intended to enforce that. ~*~*~*~ "Wake up!" Duo shouted, whacking Heero affectionately with his pillow. "Baka," Heero said flatly, rising and slowly migrating downstairs. "What's for breakfast, 'Fei?" Duo shouted from the bedroom, making his bed. "Blueberry pancakes, Maxwell," Wufei replied, flipping a few flapjacks onto his fellow pilot's plates-this was insurance, when Duo finally came downstairs he would eat everything in sight, and "'Fei" would be ready. ~-~-~-~ *bang bang bang* "Get out of the damned bathroom, Rye!" "We have a mission, be sensible," Chris said knowledgeably, "Wait." "Shaddup!" Rye screeched, "I have to look my best." "." Ritza uttered, rolling her eyes, quickly finishing her cereal. As Rye stalked past Cat she stuck out her tongue and hummed (to drown out any noise the other might make). It was quite a sight. Apparently while in the bathroom she had perfectly done her blonde and pink hair into her trademark scattered ponytails and plercheif[5], tied in place, yet somehow didn't have time to get her shirt on, and was hobbling around, one boot on, one boot off-panties showing through her mini skirt as she struggled to get in an earring and on a shoe at the same time. Chel took the distraction as an invitation to steal Cat's place in the line of teenage girls to the bathroom, a sin. Cat spun around, realizing Chel had stolen her spot. "Zut![6]" Cat shrieked in despair. "*sigh* All is right with the world," Chel murmured thoughtfully, carefully tugging at the tight pants she was attempting to put on. ''T-tu. tu[7]. '' "English, onna[8]!" Chris snapped. "." Cat shot Chris one of the nastiest glares she had given. today. ~-~-~-~ Heero was in the hangar when he realized his Gundam had had a visitor. Whoever it was got in, and out, alive-they were good. He rode the pulley up to the entrance, hopping in and inspecting the interior. Everything was A- okay, no worries, except a mysterious bottle from what must be medieval times and an old-looking note.  
  
[1]-Pleather: a cheap plastic substitute for leather [2]-Kawaii: 'Cute' in Japanese [3]-Nani?: 'What?' (in a confused or agitated way) in Japanese [4]-Hai: 'Yes' in Japanese [5]-Plercheif: a made-up word; a pleather kerchief [6]-Zut!: 'Damn!' in French [7]-Tu: 'You' (informal and/or singular) in French [8]-Onna: 'Woman' in Japanese 


	2. Meet the B-Gurlz

Title: The B-Gurlz Written: Eep! ::dashes away and hides in some. hidden (;;) alcove.:: Pairings: It'll be 1x2, probably 1x5 (aiming for 1x2x5), 3x4 Category: AU, during war, humor, angst (if all goes according to plan *snicker*), shounen ai -will be- Warnings: slight yaoi (probably), genie in a magic bottle (DON'T ASK!) Summary: The G-Boyz get magically transported into the past (1973) to find their alternates. uh. as biker chicks (dressed explicitly in pleather)? Ramblings: Here's chapter 2, er, didn't think I would get this far.;; Disclaimer: *Standard Disclaimers apply* Author's Notes: ~*~*~*~= scene change ~-~-~-~= ripple in time 'Oi!'= thinking _Oi!_= technological devices I'll think of more later. maybe. ~*~*~*~ The B-Gurlz stalked around the city, undetectable, looking for any 'clues' they might stumble upon. And, well, they found more than just a clue. ~-~-~-~ The G-Boyz all gathered in the kitchen for a 'meeting'. "What do you think it is?" "I dunno." There were several murmurs and barely audible gasps of awe as they inspected the "mystery bottle". "Well, whoever it was, Heero, they must be truly talented to get past your alarms," Quatre put in thoughtfully. "I've seen this sort of thing before." Duo trailed off. "Where?" Wufei asked apprehensively. "An old TV show. 'I Dream of Jeanie', yeah, that was it." "A sitcom?" Trowa raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, Tro, how'd ya know? *snort*" "*shrug* Lucky Guess." He took a sip of coffee. "Go on, Maxwell, how does this 'sitcom' relate to the issue at hand?" Wufei peered down his nose skeptically, articulately raising an eyebrow. "Don't patronize him, Chang," Heero snarled mockingly. "Stop it, you two," Quatre put up a hand peacefully. "Well, Wu-man, it's really quite simple. There's this astronaut who finds this magic bottle, and he rubs it and a really pretty blonde in old- fashioned belly dancer attire comes out of it, and, then she stayed with him and granted his every wish. And then, well, they fell in love-but that's, like, a whole different season." "That's 'simple'?!" Heero was gaping like a fish. "Well, yeah." Duo said matter-of-factly. "It's worth a try," the pilot of Sandrock put in. Heero handed the 'issue at hand' over to Quatre, who rubbed the bottle gently. There was a puff of pink smoke. "*cough* *cough*" "Q *cough* you alright?" "*cough* Fine." "*cough* *cough* *cough* *cough*" "That you, 'Fei?" "I *cough* am the genie *cough* of the *cough* bottle-what is your wish, young *cough* masters?" "Only one?" Duo whined. " What a jip." The other pilots just stood, agape, while Shinigami 'chatted' with the Brittany Spears look-alike genie, who, obviously, wasn't very fond of clothes. "Your wish is my command, there are only three rules in which you must comply with. oh, damn, what were they." Quatre facefaulted, Wufei sweatdropped, Trowa raised an eyebrow, Duo grinned widely, and Heero just stood there, unable to form a complete sentence without passing out. "No bringing dead people back from the. dead, no making people fall in love, and no wishing for more wishes," Duo listed easily. ".Yeah. whaddija say?! *sweatdrop*" "Those are the three rules." He beamed. "Ok then. uh. everyone get that?" They all nodded in agreement, at a loss for words. "Good *sigh*, I'll let ya'all talk, then tell me what you've agreed upon- I'll be over here." She motioned towards the couch. Another round of nods. "Wow, isn't this cool?! We can have anything in the world!" "I guess so." Quatre said uneasily. "Whaddaya mean 'I guess so'?! We have a magic genie at our disposal, and all you can say is 'I guess so'?!" "Yes." "Well, " Duo huffed, placing his hands on his hips, "What do you think, Hee- chan? Wu-man? .Tro?" "Well." Heero said shakily, stepping forward. "Yes?" "Yes, well, we should wish for this whole bloody war to be over," He half- shouted. "Good thinking," Quatre said, bewildered. Wufei shrugged, Trowa, having limited vocal abilities said: '.', and they had no better ideas-so. "Hey, Sara." "Yeah," the genie said, rising. "We've come to a consensus." "Oh. good." "I. We. We wish. to go to a peaceful time." "That just might be vague enough to work," she chimed brightly, and with a bob of her head they all vanished, and she plopped back down onto the sofa- sipping the tall one's forgotten coffee mug. ~-~-~-~ *vvvvvvvrrrrrrrrooooooooooommmmmmmm* An orange motorcycle came speeding towards unsuspecting Pilot 02. "Oh, fuck," he jumped behind a garbage can, "Bastard," he spat. "That's bitch, you asshole!" The bike swerved into the trashcan, slashing Duo's leg open. "What're you? Insane?!" He yelled. "If I had Deathscythe." Quatre clamped an effective hand over Duo's mouth. "Quite sorry about this. er. um. w-we'll just be on our way." Quatre stuttered politely. She crossed her hands over her chest and laughed manically. "THIBBZ!" "Oui?" "What are you up to?" "You freak!" Two more girls on bikes came whizzing up to the slightly unstable one who had nearly slaughtered Duo. "You okay?" The third girl refocused her attention on Duo. "Whatever," he said, waving a dismissive hand, "I've had worse-but a flesh wound. heh." "You're losing blood, fast, Duo, you need medical attention," Quatre said worriedly, completely undoing the other's dramatic 'tough-guy' affect. Duo glared at him, a glare clearly stating: 'You spoiled it, Q!' "Wha?! No, Q! NO! NO! NO!" "I know about your fear of hospitals and all, but..." "Heero~!"  
  
"Hn." "Get Q away from me! He's gone mad!" Heero whipped out some disinfectant and a roll of gauze and quickly dressed the wound. "Leave 'im alone, Q." The Arabian's eyes got so wide they had to be practically shoved back into his head. "Hello?!" The blonde, who was so previously concerned with Duo's status, called, distressed. "Bonjour prep vous, aussi[1],'' The maniac said formally with perfect accent. "Thibbz?!" "HAI! HAI!" "No need to get melodramatic, your boyfriends' on the phone."  
  
"*glare* Hn." She ripped the phone harshly out of the dark-haired woman's callused hand beside her. "Bonjour!" _Hello._ "What do you want?!"  
  
_No need to get huffy. would you like to._ "NO! *click*" She shoved the phone back at her wide-eyed companion. Meanwhile, Quatre, having to take time to fully adapt, realized something. ".Pleather?!." "Why yes. dontcha like?" Another pair of biker chicks came whizzing by. "You should step inside, we must get better acquainted."  
  
"Yes. *blush*" "Well for starters, I'm Chelsea, call me Chel," she beamed. "Oh, of course," Quatre began, recollecting his senses. "I am Quatre," he motioned to Duo, Heero, Trowa and then Wufei. "These are my friends: Duo, Heero, Trowa and Wufei."  
  
"Nice to meet you," she hopped of her bike and shook hands with all the pilots in turn. "This is: Rita, Ryann, Chris and Catherine." As she said each of their names they did something to acknowledge their identities. For example, the maniac (Catherine) grunted 'hn', Rita nodded, Ryann (the blonde) sweatdropped, and Chris (yes-the one with the cell- phone) glared-Chelsea grinning all the while.  
  
[1]- Hello to you, too (in just about the most formal way possible) in French 


	3. Explanations and Realizations

Title: The B-Gurlz Written: Uh. *sweatdrop* No one in particular. *whistles* Pairings: starts showing a bit of 2x1, maybe 5x2, and 3x4 Category: AU, during war, humor, angst (if all goes according to plan *snicker*), shounen ai -will be-, OOC alert-sorry, didn't mean to. Warnings: slight yaoi (probably), genie in a magic bottle (DON'T ASK!), mild language Summary: The G-Boyz get magically transported into the past (1973) to find their alternates. uh. as biker chicks (dressed explicitly in pleather)? Ramblings: I start dropping hints of yaoi. took me long enough, ne? How'd you like the "coughing scene"? Disclaimer: *Standard Disclaimers Apply* Author's Notes: ~*~*~*~= scene change ~-~-~-~= ripple in time ~#~#~#~= skipped scene 'Oi!'= thinking _Oi!_= technological devices --Oi!--= author's note I thought of more! *beams* ~*~*~*~ The Gundam Pilots were lounging on the Biker Chicks' squishy, retro furniture. ~#~#~#~ --an explanation later.-- "We sleep now," Catherine commanded awkwardly, picking her gun up off the table and shoving it forcedly in her slender shoulder holster. "Where are we all gonna sleep, genius?" Ryann replied smartly. "Heero in my room, Duo in yours, Quatre in Chelsea's, Trowa in Rita's, and Wufei on the couch," she ticked off quietly. "Hey!" Wufei shouted, offended. Duo stuck out his tongue as he followed Ryann following Heero following Catherine. Wufei stretched out and tried to get comfortable. Rita, Trowa, Chelsea, and Quatre stayed downstairs for another couple hours, despite Cat screaming at them every five seconds to shut up, but that was because she was too tired to talk in English, and it resulted in a rather sloppy Japanese/French. ~*~*~*~ Cat groped for a bag of sweet tarts and brought it into her lap. "Want some?" she asked weakly, voice cracking. "Probably tainted," Heero murmured. "Suit yourself." She didn't eat them one-by-one, but rather package-by- package. Popping one after another after another into her mouth, absentmindedly tossing the rappers over her shoulder; allowing them to float to the ground. He just gaped at her. "Sorry," she began, a hint of pain drifting to the surface of her usually unexpressive eyes. "The sugar calms me," she added flatly, rolling over and quickly nodding off into a light sleep. Heero slowly followed, sitting up. ~*~*~*~ He awoke to a now-spotless room, empty but for a few personal items that had been there before. He went downstairs to find Chris, Cat and Duo eating Pop-tarts. "Morning, sleepy-head," Duo greeted cheerfully. "Oh. morning, Duo." "Care for some breakfast, Yuy?" Christine inquired. "No, I'll just go watch the news," he said uneasily, eyes shifty. He slowly moved over to the old bunny-ears, black and white set. "Is this a joke?!" he choked out, turning to Duo. Duo shook his head solemnly. "What sort of joke? What do you mean?!" Chris looked to and fro, back and forth to the two pilots. "Nothing." Duo trailed off groggily. "Uh-oh," Chris gulped and quickly rushed out of the room to gather the other Drivers. They looked to Cat accusingly, who shrugged, going back to being antisocial. Chris jogged back into the room, panting, trailing three worried-looking bikers. "What's this all about, Chris?" Chelsea asked, yawning. "What are we gonna tell Point?" she was panicking, to say the least. "We don't." "What are you saying, Thibbz?!" "I'm saying we lie." Even though Duo was unaware of the precise situation, he glared at her. "We conveniently forget?" Chelsea suggested. "We tell her the truth," Rita said simply. "She'll think we're raving mad!" shrieked Rye. Rita shrugged. "She'll find out anyway," Chelsea stated realistically. "This is true," Cat offered in her usual flat tone. ~*~*~*~ _*bring bring*_ "Me!" Ryann chimed. Cat rushed over to listen, they all followed; including Heero and Duo. "Hello?" _Mission Log_ "Um. er. *toss*" Rye threw the phone to Cat, who thrust up her arms and caught it with ease. _Hello?!_ "Thibbz here." _Oh. well?_ "There's nothing much to tell." _Thibbz!_ "Fine, well, we found a sort of. time portal." "And our alternates from the future, or past." "Well, yes, that, too." _*gape*_ "Luteinent Point? Ma'am?!'' _.uh.*choke*.here_ she squeaked out. "Daijoubu[1]?" Cat asked quizzically, so lost in words her first two languages (French and English) had failed her. _Daijoubu_ she quickly recuperated. _Well, can they serve as officers?_ "::facefault:: Uh. dunno?" She turned to the two pilots, who nodded simultaneously. "Oui," she confirmed. _Excellent. See you tomorrow; bright and early *click*_ "Oh great," Chel said dramatically, slapping her forehead. "Wake-up call day." "It's a way of getting us up off our lazy asses on the slowest of all days: Mondays," Ryann quickly explained. "*sigh*" Quatre staggered in, exhausted, having had stayed up all night. "Hey, Q, we got ourselves a job!" Duo exclaimed. "*faint*" Quatre, you guessed it, fainted.  
  
[1]- Daijoubu: a commonly used Japanese word for 'okay', or 'alright' 


	4. Peace, Love... and six-shooters

Title: The B-Gurlz Written: EVIL RELENA (::chases EVIL RELENA MUSE off the computer with a broom:: "Get away from that you Baka!!! *sigh* "That's better") Pairings: a bit of 1x2 this time, possibly 5x2, and 3x4 ((in big, green, flashing letters) Category: AU, during war, humor, angst (if all goes according to plan *snicker*), shounen ai -will be-, OOC alert-sorry, didn't mean to. Warnings: slight yaoi (probably), genie in a magic bottle (DON'T ASK!), mild language Summary: The G-Boyz get magically transported into the past (1973) to find their alternates. uh. as biker chicks (dressed explicitly in pleather)? Ramblings: I start dropping hints of yaoi. took me long enough, ne? Well, at least Trowa gets a bit *ahem* closer to Quatre. they get a job! ::does little happy dance for no reason in particular:: Disclaimer: *Standard Disclaimers Apply* Author's Notes: ~*~*~*~= scene change ~-~-~-~= ripple in time ~#~#~#~= skipped scene 'Oi!'= thinking _Oi!_= technological devices --Oi!--= author's note No more *shakes head* ::pouts:: ~*~*~*~ "Q-man! Q? Can you hear me?!" Duo cried desperately, his face tear- streaked. "He'll be fine," Chelsea said, putting a supportive hand on his shoulder. Heero stalked over and started shaking Duo relentlessly, Duo let him. "Duo? Duo! Get a grip! You're hysterical!" Heero, suddenly forceful, shouted in between shakes. "I'm sorry," Duo said softly, wiping the tears from his eyes. "Enough!!" Catherine shrieked, dumping ice-cold water all over Quatre's head; where it came from, no one knows. "*shiver* We got a job?!" "Q!" Duo raced over, helping Quatre to his feet; squishing all the air out of him in one, big, tight embrace. "Don't ever do that again." "It's not like I wanted to pass out," Quatre managed when his voice finally returned. "You should get some rest," a deep voice from behind startled him; Trowa. He guided the smaller blonde by the shoulders out of the kitchen, and into the room he now shared with Chelsea. --Once inside.-- "Are you okay?" Trowa asked, arching a concerned eyebrow. "I'm fine, thank you," Quatre was now so red he could have been mistaken for a tomato (or a beet). "Can you sleep in here alone?" Trowa made a real emphasis on the last word. "Yes, I think so. although, it might help if yu-someone were to stay with me." He looked away; ashamed of his flushed, cherubic face, and rolled over in the bed Trowa had led him to. Without saying anything the taller boy left and returned a short while later with a chair that he pulled up along side Quatre. Still silent, Trowa just watched him fane sleep. ~*~*~*~ --In Cat's room-currently inhabited by Hee-chan (and herself)-- Heero was lying on his back, staring at the ceiling, when his thoughts were disturbed by a loud *crunch*. He looked over to see Catherine eating her routine Sweet Tarts ©. "What?" she asked innocently, a hint of sparkle in her, otherwise, stone cold stare. In fact, she reminded him so much of the soldier within himself he had to suppress a shudder every time she looked his way. "What is it that makes sugar calming? I mean, I thought it was a stimulant." he trailed off. "Well, it is." the pain was made prevalent by the immediate dulling of her gray/cobalt eyes as she slowly blinked and looked up at him in a way only a child could. They both sat in awkward silence for a few minutes, before. "Help me, Hee-chan!" The door slammed open to reveal a very distressed Shinigami. "Duo?" "She's crazy, I tell you!" "Calm down, Duo. Tell us calmly whatever it is Rye must have done," Cat pushed her way into the conversation that was going nowhere. "R-Ryann, one more minute with her and I'll go insane!" "Yeah. *sigh* She'll do that to you." she said in monotone, snickering darkly, her face clouded from view. "I take it you want to bunk in here?"  
  
"Uh. well, yeah." "Fine, I'll go shut up the talkative one, even if I have to do it with my gun, actually. it'd be better that way." she winked, slung her slim holster over her shoulder, and stalked out into the hall. Heero just sat there, blinking. "So, Hee-chan, what do you think?" "What do you mean?" "We're back in the drug era," Duo sat down on the bed and casually put his arms under his head. "With all the peace and the love. and the hippies." ".Hippies." ~*~*~*~ As you all can tell this chapter ends happily ^_~ 


End file.
